I like the idea a lot. Everything before "as the tomato juice..." should be rewritten though, to be a bit clearer. "area rug" should be "kitchen rug" at least where I'm from. "what a way to go" should probably be "way to go." "PaIring knife" should be "paring knife." Also change the wording of the "traded it for a paring knife" to make it more clear that you now have a rug and used to have the knife.
I think you bit off more than you could chew here, too much story in too small a space. It's funny though.
I like the idea a lot. Everything before "as the tomato juice..." should be rewritten though, to be a bit clearer. "area rug" should be "kitchen rug" at least where I'm from. "what a way to go" should probably be "way to go." "PaIring knife" should be "paring knife." Also change the wording of the "traded it for a paring knife" to make it more clear that you now have a rug and used to have the knife.
ReplyDeleteI think you bit off more than you could chew here, too much story in too small a space. It's funny though.